so a lot has happened recently-ish. and i feel the need to to talk about some things. i started going to therapy about a month ago. i can’t really say if it is helping yet or not because it hasn’t been that long. and i know these things don’t happen overnight. my therapist told me to go see a psychologist so i could get properly diagnosed and maybe start on some medication. so i...
i need some inspiration. my dreams seem so unreachable. i need someone to tell me that it’s possible. that you can do anything as long as you set your mind to it. i don’t believe it at all. i’m never going to be able to accomplish what i want. and right now i feel like everything is falling apart. nothing helps, i never feel like doing anything. i have no energy in me to do the...
ten thirty-nine p.m.
tonight i feel like sleeping with the light on and the windows wide open. the air smells fresh and the chill gives me goosebumps. i have bright eyes playing from the speakers. and it makes me want to go on an adventure. walk the streets after it just rained, barefoot. or go for a car ride listening to music you know all the words to but you only sing along in your head because that’s...
and the day came when the risk it took to remain tight and closed in the bud was...– alicia keys
seven fourty-eight p.m.
i went to another concert last night. i can’t stop thinking about it. it was at the school of rock, i seriously love that place. the line-up was the bigger lights, anarbor, the audition and this providence. absolutely amazing. we started talking to these two other girls that were standing next to us on line. one of them met this providence like fourteen times. we were just talking about...
four eighteen p.m.
the most spontaneous thing i’ve done in my life is put my ipod on shuffle. i don’t drink. i don’t smoke. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i barley have any friends. i struggle with depression and anxiety at 16 years old. i feel like i am not socially acceptable in this society. i don’t know what i want. my whole life has been a mess. i need change. i need things to get...
eight fifty five p.m.
it’ saturday. spring break is almost over, easter is tomorrow. i went to the manchester orchestra concert last night. it was amazing. concerts make me feel the closest i an to happiness. i actually feel like i belong because there are so many people there for the same reason as me. i liked 2 out of 3 of the opening bands. i remember during this one band, biffy clyro, there was this guy, only...
break the silence.
have you ever sat by yourself in a room and the quiet got too loud? and then you start thinking about all these things that make you sad? and then you realize that it’s not the quiet that is too loud, it is just the cause of the loudness in your head? and then you also realize that the only way to have quiet is if you are in a loud room? because maybe then the quiet would stop screaming back...
eleven thirty eight p.m.
here we go again: staying up way too late when it is totally unnecessary. what is it going to take for me to grow up and stop being such a procrastinator? i am so tired. sleep seems to be impossible these days. i feel so stressed out. i have so many these and projects this week it’s unbelieveable. i can’t handle it. hopefully i have a better day tomorrow- like that will happen!...
eleven thirty two p.m.
how come every time i write i feel like i am going to throw up? gah! i feel so sick right now. probably because i ate so much today. my stupid eating problem. me and meesh had a talk the other day about change. how we are going to go on a diet, lose weight, exercise and just be more healthy. we would manage our time better, stop being slobs and lazy asses and help mom and dad around the house....
one fourteen a.m.
i still feel like i might throw up. and my head really hurts. i don’t know if it’s because my thoughts are too loud or i am just really tired or both. today was a really bad day. not considering the events that took place but because of the way i felt. i have been having a lot of good days lately: having school off and feeling a lot closer to my mom. but today i felt (for the lack of a...
right from wrong?
thursday was the first day of new classes for the new semester. i am happy to be taking music theory, i really really love it! and of course i took sewing again because i really enjoy it and i want to get better. but i also took it because of the teacher. i love my sewing teacher. she is the happiest person i have ever met. if you ever make a mistake so big that you have to start all over, she has...
so i originally got a tumblr to follow people. but then i thought, i should write some things down myself, maybe it will make me feel better. and it does. i feel like every time i write something down i feel a bit of release. but looking back at my posts, they all kind of sound the same and i struggle to get my point across. maybe because i am afraid of who will read this, because at first, no one...
And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying...– The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Citywide Rodeo - The Weepies there are so many...